I’ve already made a whole 32¢ in rewards for using my credit card what a rush


what a beautiful line up of loosers

student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious

i think i’m ready to go back to school now lol


And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
That dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had.